Chemo cycle 2: I think I stink

Since my crash from the steroid high after chemo I’ve been feeling on the crappy side for the entire week. It doesn’t help that now I feel like I’m coming down with a cold and have a sore throat.  I haven’t left the house to go out in public since my head was shaved over a week ago. My confidence isn’t that high yet, and I’m not feeling strong enough to leave the comforts of home. Here’s a review of my week so far…

Day 4: face is red, along with my nose…just like it was last cycle. I’m SO tired today because I was awake until after 6am because of the Dexamethasone. The crash starts later that night when I fall asleep on the couch. Husband made a really nice pot of home made chicken noodle soup. I have two bowls for supper, which is unlike me but very encouraging that I’m able to eat that much. As I crawl into bed I think I may never wake up because I’m so sleep deprived.

Day 5: I sleep til 2 in the afternoon. YES! Finally some sleep. Chicken noodle soup hits the spot for supper for the second day. As I get ready for bed I notice my skin hurts as I put moisturizer on my face and head. I also notice little bristly hairs on my hands. Now the little prickly hairs left on my head are falling out.

Day 6: Since having my head shaved a few days ago I’m having problems sleeping at night, mostly because I can’t get my head and neck in a comfortable position. Normally I would have a cushion of hair between me and the pillow, and because of the neck surgery I’ve gone through, my head and neck have to be positioned “just right” or I can’t get comfortable.  My bristly head is sticking to the pillow and the sheets, but once I eventually fall asleep I’m out like a rock. I sleep in late again and when I wake up I discover my right nostril really hurts. The chemo can really affect your nose by drying it out so I grab a little mirror and have a peek up my nasal passages. I had put mineral oil in my nostrils before bed last night to keep them moist, but now I’ve developed something that looks like zits inside my right nostril. I resist the urge to poke at them and put some polysporin in my nose. I spend the rest of the day laying around feeling like crap. In the evening I do some updating on my website. As I lay on the couch with the laptop I swear I can smell one of those packaged rice mixes cooking. I ask Husband if the house smells like something. He can’t smell anything, and when I describe the smell he says it definitely does NOT smell like that. The stench is driving me crazy. I don’t like those packaged rice mixes yet I’m sure I’m smelling one cooking. I feel like I’m losing my mind but I know how the nose can play tricks on a person going through chemo.  I’m still working on the website adding sponsor logos for the golf tournament around 11pm but lose an entire page when my wireless connection is lost. I shut the computer down in disgust and go to bed.

Day 7: I sleep until 1pm and my stomach feels like it’s grinding away at something for the majority of the day. Luckily the Ranitidine is helping and I’m not having any pain or heartburn. Today I also think I stink. You read that right! I keep smelling something and think it’s me. It’s like a chemical smell and I’m positive it’s oozing from my every pore. I shower mid-afternoon and when Shauna Foster is over for a visit I ask her if I stink. She tells me she can’t smell anything. Husband says he can’t smell anything either. Shauna brings over a bag full of books and I have a mop pail full. We each wind up with a pile of “girly” books we’ve never read and are both excited to tear into our new reading material. My nose is continuing to play tricks on me with smell, and now both nostrils have sores in them. The polysporin is now in both nostrils and they aren’t as sore and itchy as they were.  I notice today that my heart rate is getting high with almost any kind of activity. I first notice when I’m outside trying to pull down a Black Bird nest with my little three-pronged garden rake. Just reaching up with the rake and pulling down the nest gets my heart rate pumping so fast I need to stand there for awhile to catch my breath. I give up on finding nest #2 and go back inside.

Husband and I spend some time weeding in the backyard after supper. It’s so muddy the weeds come out easily but it’s frustrating because the yard is like a disaster zone and a few hours of weeding after supper isn’t enough to get the entire yard done. It’s never been this bad this late in the season. The vegetable garden is so wet it hasn’t even been rotortilled yet, therefore it’s not even close to being ready to plant. There is, however, a very large crop of Dill growing like a carpet across the majority of the garden.

As I’m brushing my teeth before bed I notice that some hair is missing on my bristly head and it appears to be in some kind of pattern. I show Husband and within moments he tells me it looks like a swastika. My eyes bulge as I screech at him and run to the mirror….and yes, I see a swastika pattern on the side of my head. Oh. My. God. There are other patterns of missing hair on the other side of my head but it just looks like worms have been making tunnels. How can I possibly go out in public bald now? I’ve got a flipping swastika pattern on my head!

Day 8: A sleepless night last night. I still can’t get my head positioned right to keep my neck comfortable. I have some new symptoms today including some redness and soreness on my port, and the left side of my throat is sore. I’m more concerned about my throat than anything else. Luckily the white bumps in my nose have decreased in numbers. I do a 9am radio interview with a station in Peterborough, Ontario. I used to work with Mike Melnik way back in the early 80’s at CKIT in Regina (CKCK’s FM station). He’s now doing the morning show on KRUZ FM in Peterborough, which is hosting an international breast cancer survivor dragon boat festival the weekend of June 11/12/13. I talk with Mike & his co-host Catherine for about 20 minutes and mean it when I say I will do my best to be at the festival, yet I assure him I will stay home if I know I’m not strong enough to attend. I’ve had my plane ticket for so long and don’t want cancer to take this trip away from me but I will not take a chance and jeopardize my health if I know I’m not feeling 100%. 

My sense of smell is still playing tricks with me. With the windows open tonight to cool off the house I suddenly smell fumes from spray paint and close the windows. Later, when I’m outside I smell the paint fumes again. I ask Husband if he can smell it and he replies “All I can smell is the lilacs”. When I smell them up close they smell like lilacs, but further away I’m positive I can smell spray paint. I’m saddened that one of my favorite flowers is smelling like toxic fumes because of the chemotherapy.

Day 9: Wake up and my sore throat is not as bad as I thought it might be, but it’s still there along with a slight headache. I email my nurse so she’s informed in case things get worse. My cousin Robyn and her husband Rob come over for a visit in the afternoon bringing Lime Chicken and their vacation pictures. Supper is now taken care of and I’m transported away to a tropical paradise with their photos.

I employ a new tactic tonight in my quest to get comfortable for sleep. I find a silky, slippery scarf and tie it around my head. I then lay a hand towel, folded in half, on top of the pillow to help keep my neck in a good position. The combination is perfect! I can move my head without it catching on the pillowcase and sheets and my neck finally seems to be in a position it can handle.

Day 10: last night’s silky scarf & towel duo did the trick! I sleep like a rock and hope this is the CURE to my neck problems.  I spend the day proofing some last minute things for the golf tournament and sending out other emails. I also start packing for Peterborough. A girl can always hope for the best right? My throat is still sore today and my voice is hoarse. I check in with my nurse via email to update her and let her know I don’t have a fever. I also record a greeting for all the crazy chicks who will be out at the Red Bras Rock fundraiser. It’s a martini party that is raising money for the C95 Radio Marathon. 120 women, a few male bartenders and T-bone playing the tunes. It started as a Liberal Party fundraiser but has turned into a fundraiser just for breast cancer research. Even though it’s no longer for the Liberal Party, MP Martha Hall Findlay still flies out this year to join in the fun. It has all the makings of being one of our largest fundraisers for the C95 Radio Marathon this year and it’s because of one woman: Marie Therese Verma. She organizes the entire event and even hosts it in her own home! You will not find a more dedicated woman on the planet. She is an angel on earth and I’m grateful to have someone like her on my side as we try to kick cancer’s ass.  Because I’m in chemo I’m unable to attend this year, but I plan on being there next year. Fingers crossed.