Breast Cancer Blogs

If you’re going through treatment, have come out the other side, or are just generally affected by someone’s battle with breast cancer  you might want to try a totally different resource - the blog-o-sphere! There are millions (literally) of women and men blogging about their breast cancer battle, many of them much more regular writers than yours truly. To have had a resource like this when I was diagnosed ten years ago would have been incredible.

You can be as involved as you like with a blog. You can simply add it to your favorites and check it out when you want, you can sign up to be a “follower” of a blog, and you can make comments as well as email the blogger directly. In reading the posts of fellow warriors you’ll discover that you are not alone and that someone else feels just like you do. They may be many miles away…in Israel or Malaysia, or they could be in your own city. I’ve been reading many breast cancer (and other cancer) blogs since November and have been adding some to my “Info & Help” page on this website. Along with a comprehensive list of websites you may find helpful, there’s also a list of books, and now BLOGS! If I think a blog would be helpful to someone, and the blogger posts on a frequent basis I add it to my list. I added a few more tonight that I’ve been reading, including a young Islamic woman from Malaysia. You might wonder what you have in common with someone from that far away, of a different culture and religion. Trust me, you’ll have a LOT in common.

There are blogs by women who are doing their best to be a good mother and wife while dealing with a breast cancer diagnosis. I have made an effort to include a description of each blogger so you know their age and a bit about their diganosis to see if it’s something similar to your situation (if that’s what you’re looking for).

Check out some of my recommended blogs on the “Info & Help” page of my website. It’s the modern way of finding support and reassurance that you are not alone.

Scrap & Yap Weekend

Holy moly what a weekend! My cousin invited me to join her and a bunch of friends for a scrap weekend.  Their own version of a “retreat” which I totally loved because we simply set up in a boardroom of an office, left our stuff there and locked up when we left. No travel out of town, sleep in your own bed, come and go as you please and scrap like a maniac.

I wish I could say I scrapped like a maniac but I didn’t. I actually spent the majority of my time putting the finishing touches on some layouts I’d done from 2007 and 2008!! Yes, you read that right. Stuff I started, but did NOT finish THREE YEARS AGO. That is sooooo lame. Can you tell I’m a procrastinator? Maybe it’s just that my feeble menopausal mind forgot I hadn’t finished those layouts. No, that’s a lie. I’m lazy. I just didn’t do it. I didn’t follow through and finish the damn things until now. Ugh. I’m not happy with myself but that’s the way the cookie crumbles and at least I finished them FINALLY

The first layout I worked on was cat related. After all, I love cats and have had many over the years. I don’t know when I started this particular layout but it had to have been about 3 years ago. The first three pages featured our cat Scooter, a lovely all black guy who was our “baby” for 13 years. I had some great pictures mounted, had added some embellishments and then planned to add some stuff from his Catster page to finish it off. The pages were printed and with the layout, I’d just never done it. So, that’s where I started. The first pages are of Scooter and then the next ones joyfully announce the arrival of our new kitten ( a lovely Tuxedo cat, fondly referred to as Toonses the Driving Cat - see my Facebook photos!!). I finished the cat layout and moved on to finish a “Zoo Day” layout from 2007, and another 2 pager from 2008. You’d think that wouldn’t take me long to do and I’d be moving on to new things, but I work so slowly. My mental function just isn’t as quick as it used to be and I find it extremely frustrating. I also don’t have as much confidence in my work as I should. I look at what others are doing and wish I could do what they are. My cousin was sitting next to me pounding out layouts like she was on an assembly line and that of course made me feel inferior too. Mind you, she had gorgeous professional photos that were larger. I’m so impressed with the level of talent I saw in that boardroom over the time I spent with this new bunch of what I hope will become friends. A couple of the girls did Olympic layouts that were brilliant. Many of them were working on photos of their children, or of a recent vacation destination. I had photos of our trip to St. Lucia but didn’t even get to them! I took the easy way out and did another layout featuring one of my nieces. And I didn’t even get it finished. Gaaaaaaa

We started out Friday night and went til about midnight, returned Saturday at 10am and I shut it down and hauled my stuff home that night at 11pm because my cancer-filled spine just couldn’t handle it anymore. We had breakfast shortly after arrival that was catered by Bad Ass Jacks. Bad Ass Jacks and breakfast you say?! YES. And it was awesome! I had no idea that Bad Ass Jacks has the variety they do. We had a veggie & dip tray and assorted fresh wraps from Bad Ass Jacks for lunch, so I was able to try different things and saw their menu. Did you know Bad Ass Jacks does Asian Boxes? For breakfast they have Breakfast Boxes! Everything you need, nice and hot in a box you just open and eat out of (sort of like the asian take out boxes you see in movies). And there’s a lot of chicken breast in the chicken products so it’s very healthy. They even have pizza.  I am going to be an “Official Bad Ass” from now on. If I’d known how fresh their food is, and how seriously they take that freshness I would have been there much sooner. I guess I live a fairly sheltered life. I don’t go out to restaurants very often and when I do, it’s to places I know FOR SURE will be good. Translation: somewhere I’ve been before and always go to. Fish & chips? Joey’s. Vietnamese? Saigon on 33rd or Saigon Rose downtown (their crispy ginger chicken totally rocks). Steak? The Keg. Fast food? Subway. I could keep going, but since losing 40 pounds a few years ago we don’t do fast food anymore and Subway would be the only “fast food” restaurant we’ll eat at because we know there is something there that will not totally throw our system out of whack. I know that Bad Ass Jacks WILL fit into my regimen so they are now added to the list of go-to’s if we are going to eat out/take home.

Not only did I feel inferior in my scrapbooking inability to make a totally awesome layout, I felt completely out of touch with respect to technology and scrapbooking. The machines those girls brought for all to share mesmerized me! There was a Slice, a Cricut Create, and a Xyron. I’ve heard the names before but have never understood what they do and what their benefit is. I have to SEE something with my own eyes and see how it works to understand it. That’s just how my brain works. As soon as I tried Cindy’s Xyron I wanted one. I didn’t get the guts to try the Cricut til later on Saturday and had my cousin help me. And of course after using it I wanted one. It’s all I’ve been able to think about since Saturday. Why, why, why?! Is it a case of envy that I don’t have the “toys” that the other girls do? I wondered about that for the first few days and then I just realized that I really believe I can use a Cricut. A LOT. I checked them out at Michaels and Walmart, I’ve done a lot of internet cruising, and I can’t get that thing out of my mind! I like the smaller version which is the “Create” but for some reason I want the “Expression” - the big one. I could afford a Create and likely be satisfied with it, but I’m thinking I would regret not just going big and going home. Just the fact that I could put a 12 x 12 piece of paper into it is enough to sell me on it. The Create can’t take a full sheet of paper and I see how I could do so many different things with the bigger Expression. But will it help me to actually FINISH a layout? That remains to be seen, but having a new toy to play with makes me think it might be possible

Thanks to the girls I met over the weekend (see, I didn’t share any inside info…you had nothing to worry about!) and who treated me as if I was one of them. Thanks for teaching me how to use these new machines, thanks for letting me borrow everything from ink to stamps to an eraser, and of course “the toys”. I knew on the drive home that I was going to have to bring up the topic of this wonder-machine to my husband and try to justify “why I NEED it”. Poor guy. All he’s heard all week is the word Cricut, and has sat beside me on the couch watching TV together as I surf the internet looking at them and comparing prices. He even came with me to Michaels tonight to look at one! Now that’s progress He has given me the go-ahead to get one if the price is something we can handle. The prices I’ve seen so far are prices we can NOT handle, but I found one on Kijiji that I hope to check out tomorrow so perhaps I’ll  be a proud Cricut owner before the weekend. Maybe I should just be content to have a brand new Create…at least it’s more affordable. I’ll have to do a performance test of this one from Kijiji and determine whether it works and if it’s a safe buy. I’m a bit hesitant about it, but once I see it and try it, hopefully I will be able to walk away if I still have doubts. I have to be able to walk away because I’d never forgive myself if I bought a lemon and was out all that cash. Long term disability doesn’t give me the freedom to be frivolous with money. And of course there’s the guilt that comes with purchasing something like this that is expensive. I always feel guilt for spending money on something for myself. I like to buy things for others and I never feel guilt about that. What’s up with that anyway? I’ve got incurable cancer for crying out loud! Shouldn’t I be able to get myself something without feeling guilty? Too bad the “cancer card” won’t get me a better price on a Cricut

Oh, and by the way….I bought a Xyron this week. At least they’re affordable with your 40% off coupon at Michaels. All I need now is a Cricut to cut things out so I can use my Xyron to stick them to the page

Wish me luck. I need all I can get.

45 and ALIVE!

Long time no blog….sorry!         

Apparently there actually ARE people who read my blog J.  Whenever they are able to find a posting that is! A lot has happened since I last wrote here, the biggest event being my 45^th birthday. As I’ve mentioned before, it was a goal I made when I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer at the age of 35.

I did it. I really did it. Thank you God, thank you Sweet Baby Jesus, thank you, thank you, thank you. Although it was an important day for me I didn’t plan anything special, as my husband and I would be on the sunny beaches of St. Lucia enjoying paradise. I told him this was ALL I needed for a birthday present. Just to be somewhere warm and beautiful, and at a Sandals resort no less, was more than I could have ever hoped for. Our first ever warm winter vacation was one I thought was my first AND my last. It was thought that I wouldn’t survive very long, so I honestly believed it would be my one and only warm winter vaction. We went to a Sandals resort in Jamaica back in the fall of 2001 right after 9/11 happened. Nothing could have kept me off that plane, and even though I only had a couple inches of hair and didn’t look very feminine I had a blast. We met some wonderful people and even keep in touch with some today…ten years later. This trip was just as fun. We met TONS of new friends that I’m sure we’ll stay in touch with for many years to come. TNT were our favourite duo, followed by A & D and D & J….all Canadians! In fact we got along with TNT so well we asked them to be with us on a very special day.

When we planned this trip, I asked my husband if we could renew our wedding vows there. He agreed, and it was such a perfect ceremony. We had a great officiant, a caring wedding planner, excellent photographer, superb photographer #2 (TNT!), and renewed our wedding vows barefoot on the sand with the rowdy St. Lucian waves crashing behind us. We’d been at the resort for five days and had fallen in love with the sound of the pounding waves, despite the fact that most days were a “red flag day”, meaning it’s not safe to swim.  We did have some fun in the ocean, but the waves at the resort were just too dangerous, so we went to another Sandals resort to swim and snorkel in the ocean. I didn’t mind at all because there’s something so romantic about the sound of ocean waves. It’s also very relaxing and exciting at the same time. To see the sheer size of some of them is truly astounding.

My birthday was at the end of our holiday and it was one of the best birthdays, simply because I was still alive and in a beautiful place. Two or three weeks before we left, some friends threw a surprise party for me. Six of us had gone out for supper and they surprised me when we went back to the W residence and all the walls were covered with Happy Birthday balloons. I stood there for quite awhile, digging in the recesses of my pitiful menopausal mind trying to remember whose birthday I’d forgotten. I then decided to admit that I’d forgotten and asked “Whose birthday am I forgetting?”. Turns out it was a party for ME a few weeks early!  The kids ran over with a princess wand, tiara, and gift bags wishing me a happy birthday. I proudly wore my tiara and waved my magic wand around like I was a real princess and then got another excellent, delicious surprise when I saw THE BOX. I recognized the box from last year’s birthday cake surprise (go back one year in this blog for details and pictures!!) and my mouth started watering in anticipation. When the lid was opened, the smooth smell of chocolate and fresh strawberries wafted over me. Oh…it was heaven! It was another work of art by Jena at Sugartree Custom Cakes that tasted just as good as it looked. Even though we were stuffed from supper, we were just like the kids and couldn’t wait to dig in!  

My 2nd, and just as yummy, Sugartree Custom Cake!

The 45^th birthday celebrations started early. The first party was on January 16^th and the second surprise party was on February 20^th so I didn’t have a clue. Turns out my two friends who’d organized the first party thought I deserved to have something bigger and they should “share me with some other people”, so they organized a surprise party at The Keg. Once again I thought it was just us and two other couples going out for supper but when I rounded the corner to the room there was a long table filled with familiar faces, some who had driven hours to be there. My husband’s birthday was coming up and I had a secret up MY sleeve for him, with a cake from Sugartree Custom Cakes. After my first surprise party he said “All I want for MY birthday is one of those cakes!”, so I arranged it for the day were were going to The Keg so the two of us wouldn’t just cut it in half and eat it all ourselves :).  When I saw all the people sitting in the room I assumed it was for my husband’s birthday! Wrong. I celebrated it as if it was a joint birthday celebration but of course I was the only one getting cards and gifts because no one knew about my husband’s birthday until later when I brought out the special birthday cake to sit beside the Safeway cupcake-cake they’d got for the big group! I’d ordered a decadent chocolate cake from Jena at Sugartree and we cut it up first to serve, and ended up sending cupcakes home with almost everyone. Another surprise that evening was that everyone was coming back to OUR house after for a party. I thought it was just us and our 4 friends so I did minimal cleaning. I hope no one noticed all the dust in this place!!

My birthday celebration lasted for about a month and I’ve definitely eaten my share of cake as evidenced by the weight on the scale these days. I’m just itching for spring to arrive so I can get back to doing some gardening and get some of these extra pounds off.

Next task is to get through re-staging tests. Bone Scan and CT scan on the horizon with results to follow that will hopefully show nothing is happening with that new liver tumour we discovered last time. I try not to dwell on it and just enjoy the fact that I’m alive but “test time” is definitely a stressful time for me and my family. Luckily I have other stuff that I need to blog about because I’m so far behind, so hopefully you’ll see something here again very soon. Perhaps I’ll share some fun from the girls scrapbook weekend I just took part in. I swear I won’t share anything personal I heard that weekend, to protect the innocent gaggle who took part J

45 years down, hopefully a lot more to go.   

Me with my tiara!